“Pineapple” - A Safe Word for Reassurance and Trust
- Hannah Whitfield
- May 17
- 2 min read
“Pineapple” - A Safe Word for Reassurance and Trust
This is the information I have attached to my access rider to explain how I use a safe word.
Hi! I want to share something that helps me feel emotionally safe and connected, especially in situations where I might be feeling vulnerable, misunderstood, or at risk of misreading things.
What “Pineapple” Means
When you say “pineapple” to me, you are reassuring me of these three things:
You don’t hate me.
You’re not angry with me.
I’m still safe in our relationship or interaction.
It’s a pre-agreed signal that helps stop my brain from spiralling into fear or shame. I can be very sensitive to tone, mood, or small changes - even if they’re not meant to be personal. “Pineapple” helps override my default fear response.
Why It’s Important
Due to a mix of neurodivergent wiring (like ADHD, autism, PDA) and trauma (such as C-PTSD or rejection sensitivity), I can sometimes:
Read between the lines too much.
Assume people are upset with me when they’re not.
Get emotionally dysregulated from small cues like rushed conversations, silence, or mild criticism.
“Pineapple” is a simple way for you to help me feel safe, calm, and connected, especially when I might otherwise get overwhelmed or misinterpret something.
When to Say It
You might say “pineapple” to me if:
You need to leave quickly or respond abruptly.
You’re tired, distracted, or just quiet, and I might take it personally.
You’re about to give feedback or say something that might feel emotionally heavy.
You notice I seem withdrawn, upset, or tense.
How It Helps
Saying “pineapple” gives me a fast, gentle reminder that:
I’m okay with you.
I haven’t done something wrong.
There’s no hidden anger or rejection.
It lets me breathe and re-centre myself emotionally, so we can keep communicating in a safe, trusting way.
Final Note
You don’t need to over-explain or fix everything - sometimes just saying “pineapple - everything’s okay” is enough to help me come back to the present and feel grounded again.
Thanks for supporting me in this. It might seem small, but it really helps protect my nervous system, my relationships, and my trust in others.